I CAN'T HANDLE THIS ANOTHER YEAR

 

I can't handle this another year, It even wouldn't be fair.

Already two years without my people and Brazil, my tears are rolling, I am getting ill.

The frustration and pain is bigger then ever, accepting more of this, wouldn't be clever. Discovered now that I am married for real, over there in that big country of Brazil.

I want to be out of this, starting my life, soon alone on the Belgian coast without my wife?

Or will they let me go to Portugal?, where I would love to be, For over there everything is so well arranged for me.

 

I wouldn't be there alone but with a nephew and a friend who goes with me, and finally the one from Brazil would come over to be there with me,

from there I could find later back my way to visit Brazil, November the 2nd I will know or it will be freedom or another bitter pill.

 

Another year in jail in my situation, living as a shit,

not reaching anything, just crying in bed, that's what I do, I need to admit.

I want to be there outside, and happy has before, this jail time I really can't handle anymore.

Making graphics, crying, smoking and thinking whole days long, nothing more to do and I am no longer that strong.

I wish I could see my little baby girl growing up everyday, another pain in my heart, being so far from her away.

 

I don't feel me good and a wreck is what I become, slowly, but sure after two years that I was so strong.

Everyday now is so painfully and long, when will be the day that I will be finally gone?

I would love to be out from here, again a life without stress and beer.

A life wherein I told myself 'Another beautiful day',

That is more then two years ago and my feelings don't go away.

 

I want to lock myself up, hiding from everyone that don't understand what I feel,

from everyone that don't get how happy I was in my way and what would make me feel good.

Can I help it that I want to be there in those other countries, and helping the people?

Or do I really need to be what others are, and being a 'copy' of what they do?

Do I need to like what they like?

Do I need to be locked up because they don't realize that I can be out of jail alone so far?

I even went alone to the USA and to Brazil,

oh please, let me go, you never will hear me again, as you will.

 

 

ALEX MENSAERT Ė OCTOBER 25, 2015