I CAN'T
HANDLE THIS ANOTHER YEAR
I can't handle
this another year, It even wouldn't be fair.
Already two
years without my people and Brazil, my tears are
rolling, I am getting ill.
The frustration
and pain is bigger then ever, accepting more of
this, wouldn't be clever. Discovered now that I am
married for real, over there in that big country of
Brazil.
I want to be out
of this, starting my life, soon
alone
on
the
Belgian
coast
without
my
wife?
Or will they let
me go to Portugal?, where I would love to be, For
over there everything is so well arranged for me.
I wouldn't be
there alone but with a nephew and a friend who goes
with me, and finally the one from Brazil would come
over to be there with me,
from there I
could find later back my way to visit Brazil,
November the 2nd
I will know or it will be freedom or another
bitter pill.
Another year in
jail in my situation, living as a shit,
not reaching
anything, just crying in bed, that's what I do, I
need to admit.
I want to be
there outside, and happy has before, this jail time
I really can't handle anymore.
Making graphics,
crying, smoking and thinking whole days long,
nothing more to do and I am no longer that strong.
I wish I could
see my little baby girl growing up everyday, another
pain in my heart, being so far from her away.
I don't feel me
good and a wreck is what I become, slowly, but sure
after two years that I was so strong.
Everyday now is
so painfully and long, when will be the day that I
will be finally gone?
I would love to
be out from here, again a life without stress and
beer.
A life wherein I
told myself 'Another beautiful day',
That is more
then two years ago and my feelings don't go away.
I want to lock
myself up, hiding from everyone that don't
understand what I feel,
from everyone
that don't get how happy I was in my way and what
would make me feel good.
Can I help it
that I want to be there in those other countries,
and helping the people?
Or do I really
need to be what others are, and being a 'copy' of
what they do?
Do I need to
like what they like?
Do I need to be
locked up because they don't realize that I can be
out of jail alone so far?
I even went
alone to the USA and to Brazil,
oh please, let
me go, you never will hear me again, as you will.
ALEX MENSAERT –
OCTOBER 25, 2015 |